Just what happens in a coaching session, anyway?

Coaching in the realm of sexuality can be approached in a variety of different ways. And although my coaching work is not limited to sexuality, this is the question I get most often. If you're just starting to explore this area of your life, and you don't know what to expect, you might feel nervous not knowing what a coaching session might entail! Understandable! Well, first of all, we have a lot of fun! But to get there, you need to feel safe in your body, so your nervous system can relax and you can access curiosity/fun/pleasure from inside yourself. So without further ado, here is what you can expect as my client:

Consent. This is a simple concept, but consent is not a common conversation in our culture, whether it's around sexuality, or engaging with anyone in your life in a variety of ways (think of all of the times you are given ‘unsolicited advice’ when all you want is to vent). This is one of the most important foundations of how we will work together, because consent is one of the pathways to finding your inner safety, and then, your inner curiosity. All work that we do together within our coaching container will start from a place of consent.
Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another. I use an acronym to further expand some of the most important components of consent: F.R.I.E.S.

F— Freely Given. No manipulative tactics have been used when a person gives their consent freely.
R—Reversible. Just because you said 'yes' at first, does not revoke your right to change your mind and say 'no'.
I— Informed. You are informed about what you are consenting to (that's why this section is on my website!)
E—Enthusiastic. For our purposes working together, anything you give consent to with anything less than an enthusiastic ‘yes’ to gets put into a 'maybe' category. And for me, a 'maybe' equals a 'no', until you decide that you would like to revisit something.
S— Specific. Unless explicitly stated by the consenting party, there is no such thing as 'blanket' consent. You get to define the specific activity to which you are giving consent. ie: "I'm not a yes to having sex tonight, but I am a yes to cuddling with clothing on.”

We can (and will!) talk more about consent during our first session together as client and coach.

Clothing. Yes, you will be clothed at all times during our sessions together. You will never be asked to remove your clothing.

Touch. I will not be touching you during coaching sessions . I mostly work virtually, but even if we were to meet in person, I would not touch you. Although this work is 'somatic' (body-based), this type of coaching focuses on the empowerment that arises when you learn how to touch and be with your own body. I will, be guiding you through various ways of touching yourself (or a partner) with various types of sensations and energies so you can begin to embody different types of erotic touch. This can be done on your arms, neck, belly etc. At times I may coach you to lightly place a hand over your genitals (again clothing on), so that you can begin to feel different energy, start to gain more awareness of your whole body, and/or honor yourself as an erotic being (and again, only with your enthusiastic consent!)

Self-Pleasure. Somatic coaching is designed to help you gain more awareness of your body, and of erotic energy, so part of the work does include you exploring genital/body touch. But that is never something I will have you do within the course of a session. We can talk about anatomy, methods for increasing awareness, brainstorm ideas for you to create a self-pleasure practice (or touch specific exercises with a partner), etc. But then you get to go off and play with all of that on your own! (Talk about sexy homework!). Coaching sessions will be reserved for reporting on what worked, tweaking for ways to find even more pleasure, diving more deeply into content, clearing charge and processing anything that came up in your home play, moving forward towards your goals and celebrating your wins, insights, and learnings.