Pleasure. What is it, and why should I care?

What are we talking about when we talk about pleasure? 

Allowing yourself to use your body and your senses to feel fully alive in your life, to connect with yourself, and to connect with any partners you may have. Allowing and experiencing more pleasure helps you heal blocks or disconnection in your relationships.

Do you just mean "sex" when you say "pleasure"? 

Not necessarily, and yes! In our culture (I come from the United States), we combined the concepts of pleasure and sex into one complicated (not to mention taboo!) bundle. But the truth is, while pleasure and sex can (and should!) be related, there is a lot of pleasure we can experience and even cultivate in our lives as a wellness and self-healing practice. This comes back to the idea that pleasure is experienced predominantly in the body, through accessing and celebrating our senses. Because sex happens in the body, and so does pleasure, it makes sense that the two concepts are linked. Increasing your own capacity for pleasure almost always enhances your sex life, so that's a win right from the beginning! 

Why Pleasure?

-Pleasure is wellness. Integrating your sexuality into holistic ideas of wellness is the next revolution. Focusing on increasing your capacity for pleasure in your body creates more of the 'feel-good' hormones in your body responsible for lowering cortisol and relaxing your body for optimal states necessary for your body to heal, or to function in an optimal state.

-Pleasure can help heal trauma. When you practice being in your own body, you can create the safety your nervous system needs and requires to help heal.

-Pleasure is empowering. When we take responsibility for our own pleasure, we become familiar with what feels good in our body. We gain ownership over our own experience, maybe for the first time. We begin to communicate what feels good to our partners instead of silently hoping someone will (finally!) get it right. We get to not get stuck in resentment when they don't, because we recognize that our pleasure is our responsibility, and self-responsibility is sexy. We find our voice. Voice + self-responsibility +communication = yummm! Imagine how harnessing your voice for your desires can affect how you use your voice in other areas of your life. Set boundaries that actually feel good! Ask for what you want with confidence and ease. Get the job! Shift that toxic relationship! Reconnect with your partner. Have better sex! Heal a rift with someone close to you. 

-Pleasure actually disrupts the patriarchy (especially women's pleasure). We now have awareness of how, for too long, women's pleasure has been controlled, curtailed and subjugated. We also buy into the patriarchy—even support it— when we deny our own or another woman's sexuality or pleasure (consider the backlash that just happened with J-Lo and Shakira's Halftime Superbowl performance--a quick google search brought back 9,570,000 results.....whoa!!).  When we deliberately own our pleasure, we become agents of transformational change. 

-Pleasure gets you out of your head and helps you slow down, be in the moment and enjoy life. Sensations only happen in present time, so if you want to be more present with your spouse, your partner, your kids, or, most importantly, yourself, getting out of your head and into your body is great medicine! 

-Pleasure feels amazing! Full stop.

Who has time for pleasure? I have one hundred items my ever-expanding to-do list. 

-Embodied pleasure practices can be short, fun, interesting and easy to fit into your life. Yes, even if you ARE over-scheduled. Most Americans spend 52 hours a month (on average), wasting time on TV, social media, etc. What if we took even one of those hours and broke it up into a daily 5 minute pleasure practice before we got out of bed for an entire month? I know I get more accomplished when I  commit to my personal pleasure practice. There is more available life force energy, sweetness, levity and ease for myself (and everyone in my life happens to benefit, too).