Saying Yes to Loving Myself

How often do you feel not good enough? Ugly? Judgmental of yourself? What does it feel like in your body?
Vulnerable share: I hate nearly every photo ever taken of me. I can nitpick myself to death, and give you 100 reasons why I am just not good looking. And that's just my physical appearance. What about how I feel inside myself?

I notice it feeling almost like a sickness. My body feels dense and heavy, there is an aching in my chest, usually there is a buzzing feeling of fight or flight with some light heart pounding, and my jaw feels tense, and my gaze feels narrow

My energy feels low, toxic, thick and compressed. There's a feeling in me of just.....wrongness. I look in the mirror, I judge all of my flaws. I wish I was better. I vow to "do" better, or "be" better, or make different choices to make myself feel better about myself.
How often is this a part of your inner dialogue? Have you ever tracked it? I would say for me, depending on the day, where I am in my cycle, etc, it can hover around 65%.
It's exhausting, and it's actually creating all of the things in my life that I DONT want. Fear. Loneliness. Blocks. Overwhelm. Keeps me from showing up fully, in every situation.

This morning in my meditation, I got curious about what it would be like to feel every cell in my body flushed with self-generated love.
I did a specific visualization and embodiment practice to bring that in to my body, and to feel love, as a physical sensation in every last little bit of flesh (and beyond -- all the way into the field surrounding me).
Mmmmmm.....wow. It was delicious when I got there.
And....it was not easy.
Again.
NOT. EASY.
Today I am saying YES to self-generated love. And trust me, I know you know it's a doozy. This is my walking mantra for today, my YES.

"Every inch of my body is pulsing with love."
"I choose loving words to myself in every moment."
"I'm expanding in love to be more love."
"Letting love for myself be alive in my body."
Etc.....

I know this is a really hard practice. Message me if you're interested in being supported in this.
I love you. Yes!!!!!!! I do